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…And now for Something Completely Different

I apologize to my blog fans for not posting recently.

The truth is, recent events in the US have left me… speechless. The very foundations of what America stands for have been rocked to their foundations, and it’s looking increasingly like we are entering a phase in American politics where it’s We The People vs. our President, and sixty percent of the population of the country is basically telling the other forty: “I don’t know how to make you understand that you should care about other people.” –regardless of ethnicity, religion, gender, socio-economic status, ect…

I’ve tried to write Femdom content, but it kept coming out as political pieces.

So, here’s me clearing the air: I don’t ascribe to either of the two main political parties, I’m firmly in the Independent camp. My political ideology is a mix of conservative & liberal beliefs, I judge political candidates on their platforms and voting records/accomplishments in office instead of party affiliations. I grew up mainly in staunch Republican states, with many Republican friends and family members–and what’s happening in the US right now sickens me. Resurgent Klansmen & neo-Nazis, skinheads, racists, and white supremacists of all sorts are newly emboldened by a President who has unashamedly advocated violence against those with opposing views, and now dozens are injured, one woman murdered. We’re in the middle of a culture war the likes of which apparently hasn’t been seen since the 60’s & 70’s long before I was born. The Old Guard racists of generations past are radicalizing new ones, including mine.

We cannot repeat the mistakes of the past.

We cannot use fear & distrust of The Other to enable the destruction of the progress we’ve made. Hatred isn’t bred, it’s learned. So is tolerance.  So is the understanding that humans are equal.  So is the belief in equal rights. So is the belief that striving to achieve equality & providing means for individuals to achieve success & happiness through their own efforts are core American values.

To my fellow Americans: we cannot go back, we cannot surrender, and we cannot abdicate our responsibility to ensure the sacrifices and suffering of those who went before us don’t go in vain. America isn’t perfect, but we cannot allow a hateful fringe to go mainstream and infect & tear down our attempts to create a better nation & better world. We cannot let tribal politics divide us to the point that we forget that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are inalienable rights FOR ALL– no matter their skintone or political affiliation. Don’t stand idly by when the rights and liberties of your fellow Americans are being eroded by politicians, fear-mongering, & violence-inciting radicals. Vote, participate, and educate. The world IS changing, but it’s up to all of us to make sure it changes for the better.

Thank you to everyone who’s talked with me over the past couple of weeks.

Sharing your fantasies & helping to build them into a few moments of paradise (or heavenly torment), was a welcome distraction from the fact that I am in mourning for my country, for it’s citizens, and am committed to doing what I can to make sure that the America I know and love is redeemed.

Mistress Lilly Has NEW Pictures

In the Mood for Mistress Eye Candy

Your wish is about to be granted. It’s been an open secret that I don’t like having my picture taken. Call it privacy or paranoia, but as a Lifestyle and ProDomme Mistress at the tail end of the Bible Belt, keeping a low profile has been a priority for me since the day I began domming. There’s also the fact that while I am a voyeur (*hint, hint & nudge nudge to all subbies with webcams who’d like to put on a show during session), I’m not an exhibitionist by any stretch of the imagination. For those and many other reasons, my initial pictures with LDW were the only ones I’ve made available, until now.

Say Hello to My Amazing Avatar

Some of you who know me best are aware I’m an avid gamer and a bit of a geek. LDW’s presence in a virtual world gave me the opportunity to indulge in something I love AND give my subbies something they’ve been begging for: More pictures– LOTS of them. My avatar is astonishingly close to the real thing; her eyes, figure, endless legs, even her hair is down to mid-back, just like mine is now. I’ll be alternating between posting avi pics and my initial photo set here on my blog, with even MORE avi pics available on my twitter & tumblr blogs, so you can see some of the naughty things I’ve been up to online & in virtual sessions.

It’s Not Just Fun to Look At

Why not swing by our virtual empire and experience what it’s like to have me tease, dominate, and play with every inch of you? My avatar has a wide range of toys at her command, and I’d be delighted to introduce you to every kinky item in my dungeon. You can be bound, tied, fucked, flogged, all manners of depravity & wonderfully naughty wickedness in a virtual FemDom session. And best of all, there’s no additional charge. Virtual sessions are a deluxe benefit included with your normal phone session, so you have literally nothing to lose. Also, if you want to exercise your exhibitionist streak, just let me know that you would like pics of our session to appear on my blogs, and I’ll be happy to oblige.

Rainy Day Whack-a-Pole

CBT for When Summer Sun is in Short Supply

Summer is that glorious time of the year that is made for beaches, barbecues, fun in the sun, sand and surf–but what happens on those days when the sun’s not shining and the rain is pouring down?

If you’re anything like me or a few kinksters I know, you’ll curl up with a good book, movies, or binge on your favorite streaming site. This assignment merely gives the classic rainy day stand-by a CBT twist.

Buckle Up and Brace for Impact

You will need a hardback book, a remote control, and for you over achievers out there, a belt or metal slotted spatula.

  • With every chapter of the book that you read, I want you to slide your cock between the pages, close the book with one hand and use the remote control (or the belt, or the spatula) to give yourself a spanking that corresponds to the chapter number just read.
  • If binge watching videos are more your thing, I want you to play whack-a-pole in space between one episode ending and the next playing. Lay your cock over a desk, sideboard, coffee table, night stand or any reasonable flat surface, grab the remote control (or metal slotted spatula), and give your cock a sharp smack every time it twitches. If it does not twitch, give it ten smacks for being lazy.
  • If watching a movie or TV is your preference, give your ass (or balls) a smack with the remote control, belt, or spatula for every channel you click through until you find something you want to watch; or for every second it takes you to pick out a movie.

The day may be gray and raining…

–But I guarantee your cock and balls will be toasty warm in no time! Keep it kinky 🙂

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Sunshine CBT

CBT Arts and Crafts

Summer is the perfect time to experience a form of seasonal CBT that is absolutely diabolical. If you chose to attempt it, you will need a moderate to high level of pain tolerance, and a willingness to suffer for a week or more. You will also need lemon juice, a small container, paintbrush, a sunny day, and up to two hours of complete privacy or a clothing optional facility.

Dick Designs for the Kinky Guy

Pour the lemon juice into the small container, dip the paintbrush in and then draw designs up and down your dick. You can even paint words. Depending on your complexion, skin sensitivity, and the strength of the sunlight and lemon juice, you may start to see welts appearing in as little as thirty minutes. I would not recommend more than two hours of exposure. The actual process is fairly painless–it’s the aftermath that burns.

Highlighting Your Hard-on

Lemon juice reacts with sunlight; it’s been used to lighten hair for ages–always with the caveat to never get it on your skin, unless you want a reddened face to go along with your brightened hairline. We’re taking advantage of that reaction when it comes to painting designs on your dick. Make sure that you have applied sunscreen to the remainder of your body and if at any time the sunlight or the welts are too intense, go inside, rinse off with lukewarm water and avoid further sun exposure to your delicate bits for at least a week.

The welts from your CBT arts and crafts will decorate your dick for as long as a typical sunburn. They will sting, ache, and cause increased sensitivity that will ramp up with exposure to hot water, touch, or friction from something as simple as sitting down or walking (or wanking). Partnered sex is going to feel somewhat like…dipping your dick into a lake of fire, or deep fryer. If you have a partner, it would be best to discuss this before attempting the assignment to avoid awkward explanations when they see your sunshine souvenir, or wonder why sex suddenly seems to make you cry (or just avoid this particular CBT activity altogether).

For some additional Summertime CBT fun…

Take a clean grill brush and scour your cock and balls, then beat them with a pair of barbecue tongs 😉 Have fun!

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Breaking Down Barriers: BDSM is more than Stereotypes, Part 2

Yet another comically bad stereotype: BDSM practitioners are all damaged people seeking out other damaged people.

People from happy, healthy upbringings and those with more difficult origins are all involved in BDSM. People from every walk of life & every background can be found in BDSM. Everyone is welcome. It’s one of the most diverse cross-sections of humanity you can imagine, and because of that, yes–some practitioners had rough experiences along the way, and others haven’t.

BDSM is not a haven for the broken, and it’s not an elitist club for only those who’ve led charmed lives–it is a lifestyle and play outlet for consenting adults; regardless of our varied experiences.

As for why we do this?

I honestly believe it’s because we’re born this way. Just like some of us are born straight, gay, bi, ect…. BDSM fulfills a need, a want, a desire, and compulsion that NOTHING else can. It can also provide structure, catharsis, liberation, discipline, inspiration, peace, and euphoria, among other things. Dom/mes and subs are two halves of the same coin, and we are all seeking the other half to unleash our full potential. It doesn’t necessarily have to be in a romantic or soulmate sense (though some of the luckiest among us have found that). Together, we bring out aspects of ourselves we may not be able to share with others; liberate ourselves from the pressure of what we think society wants us to be and are instead who we truly are; and can bring out the best in each other.

Something else you’re probably not seeing that often in the stereotype tidal waves of tumblr & the twitterverse?

The backbone of BSDM is Trust, Respect, and Communication. The uber aggressive Male Dom and his ultra masochistic female sub is a tiny, miniscule, itty bitty blip on a much larger spectrum and continuum of kinks and their participants. It’s far broader, more inclusive, and more dynamic than you could ever hope to know from the outside looking in–so why not join the party? 😉

Breaking Down Barriers: BDSM is more than Stereotypes, Part 1

Not All Doms are men, not all subs are female, and not all Dominatrices wear leather & latex.

If you’ve found my blog, you’ve already got a leg up on awareness of other dynamics in BDSM. True, most of the stuff you’ll find online features male doms & female subs, but BDSM is far . . . → Read More: Breaking Down Barriers: BDSM is more than Stereotypes, Part 1

Are Safewords Absolute? Even For a Sadist?

Listening to Safewords is NOT optional. It’s mandatory.

Some background— a submissive was looking for advice. I felt this issue is important enough to warrant signal boosting for anyone who might be in a similar situation, so I’m sharing my response here.  They are having an issue with a Dom who has recently started . . . → Read More: Are Safewords Absolute? Even For a Sadist?

The Danger of Having “No Limits” Part 2

“No limits” is a dangerous phrase for anyone to use.

(Catch up on Part 1 here) If you come across a Dominant who says they have no limits; or worse, they’re looking for a sub with no limits– RUN the other way. This is frequently language that predatory abusers use when prowling . . . → Read More: The Danger of Having “No Limits” Part 2

The Danger of Having “No Limits”, Part 1

There are some things I dread hearing as a Mistress.

One of the biggest ones is a submissive eagerly telling me “I have no limits.” This is literally one of the most dangerous things anyone who’s into BDSM can say, and why I strongly discourage anyone from saying it. I’m not sure . . . → Read More: The Danger of Having “No Limits”, Part 1

Not All Safewords are Verbal: A PSA by Mistress Lilly

Safewords are vitally important to a scene, but they’re not always said out loud.

For many submissives, bottoms, Tops, and Dom/mes, the stoplight system of “Green” = everything’s good, “Yellow” = proceed with caution & slow down, you’re approaching a limit, and “Red” = whatever you’re doing, STOP NOW! works great. I’m . . . → Read More: Not All Safewords are Verbal: A PSA by Mistress Lilly