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SPH Mistress Lilly“If you’re asexual unless you are in love, how can you work in such a sexual environment and enjoy your work?”

That was the awesome question asked by lovegood in the comment section of an earlier post 🙂 I was thrilled to see it, because it gives me the opportunity to clarify something very important: BDSM does NOT inherently involve sex. In fact, there are quite a lot of asexual (ACE) individuals in the Lifestyle. There are many people who enjoy BDSM from the power exchange or S/M context without any acts of sexual intimacy ever taking place (–and anyone who’s ever had a Real Time session with a ProDomme in reputable dungeon can attest to that). There’s kinky sex, intimate situations, and X-rated content out the wazoo in the Scene as well, but sexual contact is not and never has been a prerequisite for enjoying BDSM.

As for me working in a highly sexual environment—you’re absolutely right, and I love my job.

I only take the calls I want; and for the rest, I find Ladies whose specialties are more aligned with the caller’s, or recommend they speak to Dispatch or the Ladies at Live Help for their suggestions. For example: some of the calls  I take are BDSM, CBT, feminization, humiliation, or scenario based—calls where I am either absolutely Domming my new playmate, or setting the scene & narrating as their fantasy unfolds. It allows me to bring someone’s kinks to life without putting myself in a situation that I won’t enjoy. Also, some of the calls I take don’t involve sex or BDSM at all—sometimes I’m swapping travel stories, movie suggestions, sharing epic tales of gaming/ geek culture, or just chatting.

It might seem ironic, but I don’t actually ‘do’ phoneSEX—I do phone Domination and phone fantasies.

There are other Ladies of LDW who enjoy vanilla calls, or calls where they actively engage with a caller’s sexual fantasies as the recipient of those desires– I take calls where the caller’s fantasy does not involve sex with me. I understand and respect that there’s a broad range of human sexuality, and I definitely enjoy helping our callers explore theirs–it’s fun and fascinating to briefly get a glimpse into the reactions & mindset of someone with a wildly different orientation & sexuality than my own.

I’ll gleefully describe a sissy slut cheerleader being gang-banged in the locker room by the rival football team, or a cuckold who gets back from a work conference early to find his wife blowing his boss in the master bedroom, or the trans woman who found the love of her life, and simply wants to make madly passionate lesbian love to her new wife. It’s incredibly entertaining & rewarding to know that I’m helping them work out their kinks. With two Mistress calls between me and a Mistress who enjoys vanilla, it’s a ton of fun for me to ‘corrupt’ that sweet Mistress into the wicked fantasy woman of our caller’s dreams. For the calls that let me unleash my sadistic side, I get a little extra thrill; and with every call I take, I get an adrenaline and endorphin lift from Domination–I take a great deal of pride in trying to make sure that every caller has an amazing experience, and I have a ton of fun too 🙂

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