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Twisting Tunes for Kinky Fun

Music can be a wonderful way to get your pulse racing, your heart pumping…it can reach inside your soul and make you feel like dancing, crying and going out to tackle Mt. Everest–or simply hitting today’s goal at the gym. Today we will be using the power of music to give your balls and (for some of the most coordinated among you other parts of your anatomy) a work out.

You will need:

  • A slotted spatula or kitchen serving spoon
  • At least ten clothes pins
  • A leather belt
  • A pair of chopsticks

Tormenting yourself in tune:

Turn on your favorite music. Grab the spatula or the kitchen serving spoon and for your trial run. You are going to beat your balls in rhythm to the beat of the music for the length of one song. If you had trouble keeping the beat either through lack of coordination or your balls became too tender to proceed, try keeping the beat again with a different song, but this time use the belt to whack yourself against your ass to the rhythm of the music. Alternated between ball busting and spanking until keeping the beat on your body becomes something you can do almost on reflex. If it takes you more than five attempts, you may take a break before trying again. If you’re an exhibitionist, feel free to give me a call so I can watch as you turn your body into a squirming, throbbing percussion instrument. Do NOT proceed to the next assignment in the series until you have mastered the easy mode.