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Yet another comically bad stereotype: BDSM practitioners are all damaged people seeking out other damaged people.

People from happy, healthy upbringings and those with more difficult origins are all involved in BDSM. People from every walk of life & every background can be found in BDSM. Everyone is welcome. It’s one of the most diverse cross-sections of humanity you can imagine, and because of that, yes–some practitioners had rough experiences along the way, and others haven’t.

BDSM is not a haven for the broken, and it’s not an elitist club for only those who’ve led charmed lives–it is a lifestyle and play outlet for consenting adults; regardless of our varied experiences.

As for why we do this?

I honestly believe it’s because we’re born this way. Just like some of us are born straight, gay, bi, ect…. BDSM fulfills a need, a want, a desire, and compulsion that NOTHING else can. It can also provide structure, catharsis, liberation, discipline, inspiration, peace, and euphoria, among other things. Dom/mes and subs are two halves of the same coin, and we are all seeking the other half to unleash our full potential. It doesn’t necessarily have to be in a romantic or soulmate sense (though some of the luckiest among us have found that). Together, we bring out aspects of ourselves we may not be able to share with others; liberate ourselves from the pressure of what we think society wants us to be and are instead who we truly are; and can bring out the best in each other.

Something else you’re probably not seeing that often in the stereotype tidal waves of tumblr & the twitterverse?

The backbone of BSDM is Trust, Respect, and Communication. The uber aggressive Male Dom and his ultra masochistic female sub is a tiny, miniscule, itty bitty blip on a much larger spectrum and continuum of kinks and their participants. It’s far broader, more inclusive, and more dynamic than you could ever hope to know from the outside looking in–so why not join the party? 😉