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Edge Mistress LillySome of you know that my fiance James isn’t exactly my submissive.

In fact, we’re both Dominant personalities (mine just happens to be stronger). We have what is occasionally referred to as a female led relationship or FLR. What that means is that while we may not have a formal D/s power exchange, and may not engage in certain aspects of BDSM, I am the one wearing the metaphorical pants in this relationship– though really I’m more comfortable in corsets and thigh highs. 😉

A Female led relationship is one where the lady takes the lead.

It may not have the same kinks or fetishes found in BDSM–in fact, plenty of FLR’s begin (and remain) completely vanilla. For those sweet subbies who are in relationships and wanting a partner to be a bit more dominant, you might try to see if an FLR is right for her. It begins simply enough: you defer to her preference and judgment. This doesn’t mean that you’re a doormat, or that you’re ‘whipped’. It means that you respect your partner enough to make her pleasure and contentment your priority. When it comes to restaurants, movies, or what sexual position–her word goes. From there, you can springboard to having her decide more and more things in your relationship to see if you’re both enjoying yourselves–and maybe even incorporate some kink!

In an FLR, just as in BDSM, you always have free will.

You never HAVE to do something you absolutely hate, and by the same token, your partner does not HAVE to transition towards an FLR simply because you want her to. It’s all about mutual respect and enjoyment. I enjoy calling the shots, tying my fiance up in bondage, and using my strap-on with him on occasion—and he loves showing me off, treating me as a Goddess, and spoiling me rotten. I will never indulge in pain play or erotic humiliation with him because he doesn’t enjoy it, but I’m free to unleash the sensual side of my Dominant nature whenever I want, and he goes nuts for it. I go nuts for the fact I have an amazing alpha male & stud secure enough in himself to kneel, to please, and to ravish me senseless. 😉

Find what works for you and your partner, then enjoy the hell out of each other.

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