Bondage is more than just kinky rope work & tie downs
Chains, manacles, spreader bars, handcuffs, and other restraints take up quite a lot of space in my dungeon—there’s a rather dizzying and mouthwatering array of devices and toys that can be used to immobilize a bottom or sub in a bondage scene; ropes are merely one aspect. I love ropes of all kinds, as well as the knotty boys & girls who enjoy them (Ms. Daphne knows this from 1st hand experience). In personal practice, I’m a rigger that uses a mix of contemporary shibari techniques with a focus on external anchor points, symmetry, and aesthetics.
However, my adoration of rope bondage goes far beyond the tactile bliss of wrapping cords with different textures over a willing submissive’s body…
—It is knowing they are engaging in one of the most powerful & total displays of trust, faith, and submission that exist in the Lifestyle. They’ve surrendered their autonomy completely, and are willingly helpless beneath my hands. It is a gift I always cherish, not to mention an incredible rush.
Bondage fulfills more needs than just kink.
–And there are several reasons why bondage is beloved by me and my subs, but perhaps the most overlooked is safety.
Safety (a Dom/me’s side)
Impact Play scenes have ‘safe’ strike zones–the challenge is getting a sub to stay in them. Whenever a whip, flogger, cane, or other toy lashes into a sub, some movement is unavoidable. Occasionally, it’s the body rocking forward from the force of the blow, but often, it’s merely a reflexive jolt from the sting of impact. Squirming can get unintentionally hazardous in impact play sessions if subs start shifting beyond the ‘safe’ strike zone. Bondage with multiple external anchor points helps to make sure they are totally immobile & therefore incapable of accidentally wriggling in a way that will lead to them getting hurt.
Safety (sub’s side)
By giving themselves totally to me, and feeling the ropes binding them gently, yet securely, some subs have told me it’s rather like being swaddled or cradled. In fact, some of my real time subs that struggle with anxiety or insomnia brought on by racing thoughts find that being securely bound & tied calms them, soothes them, and will even let them achieve a deep and restful sleep. Bondage doesn’t need to be paired with impact play or pain to be enjoyed; it can be a remarkably gentle, sensual experience as well.
Safety (extremes of emotion)
Under my guidance, a sub who’d previously had a issue with cutting and self-mutilation was improving–and then someone very dear to her died. She came to me begging to be bound—and kept that way. She feared what she’d do to herself if left with use of her limbs. She spent the next 3 days in various multi-layered body harnesses, and the next 3 nights in ties that bound her to a cushioned rope hammock while I sang lullabies and rocked her to sleep. After 3 days, the crisis was over—she was still grieving, but calmer, and confident that she wouldn’t hurt herself.
Ms Lilly, what you wrote about the submissive who was a cutter really touched my heart. Such a beautiful example of the Mistress/submissive relationship and how BDSM can be a tender, spiritual experience. That is a subject I sometimes feel in the minority about, especially outside of LDW. Thank you for being the caring, safety first Mistress you are.
To all:
I trust my Mistress, Empress, Goddess and Owner (Ms. Lilly) 100%. She may use to chain, manacle and cuff me as well tie me up and treat me any which way she believes her sissy submissive pet needs to be treated. I pledge myself to her ownership for life because she knows what her property deserves at all times. I no longer need to concern myself with my place in the world for I’ve found a place where all my submissive talents will be put to the uses she decides. I am so happy to be hers. Empress Lilly is LDW’s #1 greatest mistress. Give her a call and turn yourself over to her expert control, your will never forget it nor want to.
Sissy Slut,
Jizzelle
I really loved Your post and found respect for You!
I wish I could be Your sub.